The dating game is a cruel and unforgiving one. Even people whom others see as utterly perfect fret about dating. Everyone is concerned about how they come across, what they look like and whether there is someone out there who will like them. It is the in the human nature. Or maybe it is not. It is in the human nature after decades of intense pressure that has only built and built over the years, making everyone who is not 6-foot, blonde, slim, and super gorgeous feel inadequate.
When you add something like herpes on top of all that, it becomes very understandable why people who suffer from this condition find it nearly impossible to date. Herpes comes with a stigma, there is no doubt about that. For some people, it is a sign that the sufferer is too promiscuous while others may think there is something wrong with their hygiene or something like that. One thing is for sure, herpes is not something people take lightly.
It is therefore quite natural that many people with herpes decide to give up on dating altogether. Considering the fact that herpes cannot exactly be cured, they are more or less sentencing themselves to loneliness. Which is, and you will all agree, complete nonsense.
There is absolutely no reason why someone with herpes shouldn’t date. It is not like some higher power came down to earth and infected them with herpes in order to prevent them from finding love. It would have to be a particularly sadistic higher power to do that. Herpes dating is not that uncommon as you may think.
Herpes is actually the most common sexually transmitted disease in the US and according to the latest statistics from the CDC, around 16 percent of the American adult population suffer from it. One thing that further complicates things is that the vast majority, up to 80 percent of sufferers, do not even know they have herpes.
So, you are not alone and it is time to put to rest those thoughts about giving up on dating.But what now? Do you keep it a secret? When do you broach the subject? These are all very valid questions that need answering.
First of all, no, you do not keep it a secret. If you have herpes, it is your moral obligation to tell the person you are dating that you have herpes. The question that needs answering is when to tell them about your condition and how to best handle this situation. In a situation where things are moving really fast and sexual intercourse is to happen relatively early in a relationship, you do not really have too much time. The important thing is not to wait for the last moment because, in such circumstances, people tend to make foolish decisions and forget about self-control.
Moreover, you need to be prepared for the negative outcome. This someone might choose not to have sex with you and you have to accept it. Of course, condoms can always prevent transmission, but there is still a chance your new date will decide to stop seeing you.
If it is a slower, more substantial relationship, the right moment will present itself. When this happens, you will find out that love easily trumps herpes. Like we mentioned earlier, it is a condition that affects a large number of people and it is possible for two people to lead perfectly normal lives if one of them has herpes.
Keep in mind that there is also a much easier way to date when you have herpes and that is to take advantage of herpes online dating websites. On these websites, herpes dating is the name of the game and even those people who do not have herpes themselves are perfectly fine with dating people who have it.
These sites are safe havens for everyone with herpes. There, you won’t feel cumbered by this illness and they are also the perfect place to get your self-esteem up in case you are planning to do some “more traditional” dating in the future. As long as you keep on dating, however, it does not matter how or where you do it.Go for it!